Let's Kill Something

I have two large posters hanging above my desk in my den of programming iniquity. One shows a fuzzy kitten dangling precipitously on a clotheswire by his claws, with the caption, "Hang in there!" The other shows two vultures, and one is saying to the other, "To heck with patience! Let's kill something!" I keep them where I can see them because I feel they represent the two sides of the coin that is my personality, the yin and the yang, if you will, of what makes me...well, me.

You see, I could sit back and wait patiently, obedient to my supposed fate, and hope someone or something comes along to sever my bond of ignominy, whether it be the shame of my own fear and weakness in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, or my exile to the shadows until the end that approaches us all overtakes some hapless soul, and I receive my carrion feast like crumbs from the table. Patience is indeed a virtue. But it becomes a tether when I know I could throw it to the wind, cast my lot with that impudent vulture, spread my leathery wings to fly off into the night's cold embrace, and eat my fill until the juice runs down my neck.

I considered the message of both posters this evening as I sat in my dim parlor of digital ephemera, abuzz with the whir of heat sink fans, the clicking of hard drives, and the crackle of Tesla coils. Surrounded by hand-rubbed mahogony wainscot alive with the musk of decades worth of linseed oil, I eased back into my leather chair, and scratched my black jaguar Mr. Tinkles on the chin as he squinted, flattened his ears, and purred his familiar blessing. I took a slow, deliberate swig from my snifter of cognac and gazed deeply into the gems (rubies, ironically!) set deep in the eyesockets of the polished silver death's head mounted atop my ebony cane, as I pondered my decision. And then it came to me:

Let's kill something. Starting with a fuzzy kitten.